I have a story that...
... you opened this post because you like stories
... you are telling yourself stories all the time
... you have stories about everything and everyone around you
At least that's the case for me and what power these stories have over me!Ā
I wrote about personal development being increasingly able to stop "being subject to" things and "making these things objects" instead. Having stories that whisper into our ears, often subconsciously, is for me a prime example of "things I'm subject to". Let me elaborate with a few stories...Ā
The stories we tell ourselves...Ā
I've moved a fair bit in my life: from Germany to the UK, from the UK to Hong Kong only to move back to the UK. Next to China and after two years IĀ hopped over to Taiwan. I then returned to Germany and although I hadn't planned it, stayed in Berlin for the most part for the past 7 years. Except that one time IĀ moved to theĀ US to a temple for a couple of months to then spend some more time in Brazil (all of this was before I gave up on flying due to the ecological impact it has).Ā
Since then I've moved around a lot in Berlin, often only staying a couple of months in each place. It's been an insightful experience: every move affected my mind state, often increasing anxiety and bringing with itĀ some resistance to the new environment.Ā
Most recently, I got to experience this when moving into the Zen center I currently live at: whenever IĀ visited, it was easy for me to single things out that IĀ disliked:Ā
"Couldn't anyone else see how annoying that one person was?!"
"Why did they meditate this way and not another way?"
"Why didn't they use a bell, but instead a Moktak?" (a Moktak isĀ a wooden Korean bell, also known as "wooden fish")
It was easy for my mind and my reality to buy into these stories. I resisted and tensed up.Ā
By the way, the power of stories is also one of the things therapist and couple counsellor Esther Perel points out.
Letting go of storiesĀ
These stories and narratives influence how we experience the world. They're shadows, following us around and coloring the world around us. It's easy to listen to them and difficult to let go of them - even when we're aware they might be at work!Ā
In meditation, one of the things we practice is letting go. It's letting go of our stories and narratives. Over and over again, we let go of what our mind tells us and return to our immediate experience. That way, we train that "muscle".Ā
This process of experiencing the power of stories is also something thatās visible in everyday life all the time! For example, when I first moved into the Zen center I now live at, I was full of judgement and criticism: āwhy do we need to get up so early?ā, ācanāt we store our cups differently?ā, āhow the heck do people not know how to properly load a dishwasher?ā (the last one I still struggle with ;) ).
Over time, I got better at letting go of the stories IĀ told myself about the other residents and the place itself. I also made a conscious effort to see the good in them. To see in them what's likeable about them. To open up about the differences in who each of us are. Like a river that over time softens the rocks that lie within, IĀ became less edgy and softer. And soon, I started loving the place!Ā
If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe and share it!